TARA MANDARANO
  • Blog
  • Editing
  • Published Work
  • Contact

We Saw Your Heart First

10/6/2015

1 Comment

 
​We saw your heart first, galloping along at 141 beats a minute. You were shaped like a shrimp, all big head and curved tail. The doctor said you were smaller than a peanut, so we couldn’t call you “peanut” yet. I didn’t have a name picked out for you besides Mango.
 
Now and then it still hits me: you are here, despite the obstacles of my body, the obstacles of my psyche. Years of scar tissue and surgeries and hot water bottles and painkillers melt away. You are HERE. I was able to make you.
 
But I didn’t leave it to chance. I kept Guatemalan health dolls in the medicine cabinet. I said a prayer every day. I stocked my own supplement pharmacy. I let a woman stick needles in me.
 
I started to believe you might be possible. One morning I woke up from a dream after you were conceived but before I found out I was pregnant, and I was telling someone “let go and let God.” It was only hours later that I realized I was probably talking to myself.
 
The morning we found out about you, I peed on a digital pregnancy stick and didn’t wait the full four minutes to check. Your Papa and I simply lay in bed, stunned. He cried, while I curled up in a state of happy shock. I kept that stick, and keep it still, even though the battery ran out and the screen is blank. The letters spell out YES, but all I see is HOPE.
1 Comment
kodi.software link
3/2/2024 09:31:16

I wanted to express my gratitude for your insightful and engaging article. Your writing is clear and easy to follow, and I appreciated the way you presented your ideas in a thoughtful and organized manner. Your analysis was both thought-provoking and well-researched, and I enjoyed the real-life examples you used to illustrate your points. Your article has provided me with a fresh perspective on the subject matter and has inspired me to think more deeply about this topic.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Picture

    Tara Mandarano

    is a writer, editor, and poet. Her writing ​has been nominated for the Best-of-the Net award, and has appeared in The Washington Post, HuffPo, Today's Parent, Los Angeles Review of Books, and Motherwell, among numerous other publications. She is also an advocate in the mental health and chronic illness communities.

      Never miss a post!

    Subscribe to Newsletter

    Archives

    May 2021
    February 2021
    March 2020
    November 2019
    May 2019
    July 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    January 2018
    November 2017
    September 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

    Picture
    I'm Published by Mamalode!
    Picture
Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Blog
  • Editing
  • Published Work
  • Contact