I went to this event in the middle of a fibromyalgia flare, so I wasn't feeling too happy with my knees and ankles or back when it started, since I was in discomfort and pain.
How do you embrace a bag of bones that always seems to be aching? It's an ongoing struggle when you have a chronic illness.
On a scale of 1 to 10 on how much I loved my body, I gave myself a 3. I filled out another questionnaire and found out I'm in the "body loather" category. This made me sad.
My husband was shocked when I came home and showed him my results, but I wasn't. I haven't really been friends with my body in the past 10 years or so, ever since fibro made its appearance in my life and my weight fluctuated 30-40 pounds from the effects of pregnancy, PCOS, prediabetes and insulin resistance.
I still remember a kind woman congratulating me on my second pregnancy a couple years ago when there was no baby in my belly, just extra bulk. It stung, but I could see where she was coming from.
Now I just want to work on continuing to show up for myself, and not criticising my body, either verbally or mentally. Also, I don't want to hide from my husband when I change clothes.
I'm learning that I can be kinder to myself while still working on myself and trying to lose weight. That's what taking selfies is all about for me. A radical visual example of self love. Maybe I don't show my tummy or hips that much, but I focus on the parts of me that I AM happy with, and it's enough.